So are you racist if you aren’t open to dating everyone? Every Asian girl who has ever tried online dating, whether on POF, OKCupid, or Match has experienced it: messages from Creepy White Guys with Asian fetishes.Now that I’m four years into professional matchmaking, I’ve seen clear patterns emerge when it comes to race and attraction. Women of every racial background seem to strongly prefer dating you.Asian and Latin women are most popular with the gents.
Systemic racism continues to oppress and “other” people of colour and interracial romantic relationships were taboo — even illegal — until shamefully recently in our history.
“All of this centres on Eurocentric beauty standards, which privilege those who are white or are white adjacent in appearance — things like lighter skin, light coloured eyes, thinner noses, certain jawline shapes.
So, when we see Asian men and black women having a harder time, part of it has to do with beauty standards and part of it has to do with the ways people are socialized to imagine how Asian men or black women behave inside and outside of relationships.”This exclusion of Asian men is a particularly visible problem in the gay community.
“No rice, no spice” is social networking apps Scruff and Grindr parlance for “no East Asian men, no South Asian men.” Straight people aren’t nearly as upfront about their prejudices on Tinder, but having spoken to several women of colour about their time dating online, they seem to get fewer messages and matches than other women and are frequently racially fetishized when they do connect.
“I’ve personally experienced plenty of this,” Buggs tells me.