It takes a lot of self-control not to obsess After I went on my first date during my break, I realized why I took the break in the first place: Because when I like someone, I get a little intense. " and "OMG he doesn't like me." And then there's the other kind of obsessive thinking: "Where will our next date be? I look back on some of my former relationships and think, "Why did I put up with that?
My internal dialogue becomes a series of thoughts like, "Did he text me back yet? " I dated someone who didn't even remember what I did for a living and someone who wasn't sure if I "added enough to his life intellectually." I somehow thought this all was better than nothing, but as it turns out, "nothing" ain't so bad.9.
And that's probably why I met the right person shortly thereafter.
Instead of wondering whether he'd like me, I was wondering, "Do I like him?
Between the thrill of receiving a notification and the game-like aspect of swiping, I was no longer even making the conscious choice to engage in it.
I felt like a lab rat mindlessly chasing its next pellet of food.3.
Looking for love can backfire When I met my partner, I was in the opposite mindset from when I was online dating.
The biggest reason I had for deleting my dating apps was just an insufficient return on investment.
I first created an OKCupid account in 2011, and for nearly five years, online dating and I had a tumultuous, on-and-off relationship.
Then, in December of 2015, I decided I would take a break from online dating—and that unlike my previous "breaks," this one would last for more than a few weeks.
But people had relationships before dating apps existed and—surprise! It took a little while, but when I was putting less energy into scoping out prospects on dating apps, I had more time for parties, spontaneous encounters, and other ways to meet people.
I ended up meeting my partner at a nightclub while on vacation in Ibiza with a girlfriend.